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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29279577">What I was and what i am</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EgoCentricWhore/pseuds/EgoCentricWhore'>EgoCentricWhore</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Enemies to Lovers, Loneliness, M/M, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:33:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29279577</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EgoCentricWhore/pseuds/EgoCentricWhore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I told myself that I had to accept this consequence with pride, its what I deserved after all.</p><p>In the end I had no one to blame but myself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

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<a name="section0001"><h2>What I was and what i am</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I decided when I was in fifth grade that I was most likely a piece of shit. Despite the crystal clear thought process on why that would be the case, It never crossed my young mind that the way I behaved and went about my life was abnormal. I was always alone in this fact. I believed that everyone understood me. It didn’t take too long for that thought to be knocked out of me. I had a moment when I realized that no one was ever on the same page with me. I was quite the outlier and no one supported my shitty behavior. I came to understand this better when I was hit rather hard by the consequences of my own actions.</p><p>As my friends and I got older, they concluded that they were not going to tolerate me anymore. Which I understood. It's like we all had a moment to really consider what Eric Cartman provided and why it wasn't worth sticking around. I understood, that's why it hurt. Until that moment I had thought I would have been okay with it, that I could have just made new friends. That wasn't what happened. Instead I found myself suffocated under the debris of my past mistakes.</p><p>It was like my whole world was turned inside out. I was exposed, I felt alone. I was alone, I had scared everyone off before I had a chance to show them who I truly was under all of my malice and ignorance. A new person or that's what I liked to tell myself.</p><p>I told myself that I had to accept this consequence with pride, its what I deserved after all.</p><p>In the end I had no one to blame but myself.</p>
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